FOREVER LOVE

This tiredness

that at times overcomes me

is a mood, a feeling

an awareness

of a lack of adequacy

perhaps

it isn’t a healthy tired

after a job well done

no

this is bone-weary tired

that even a long night’s sleep

can’t ease

a longing for just one

of those nights

when true peace and serenity

were there for the asking

or the doing

that love makes possible--

and I tell myself

OK

you’re doing what you said you would

and the question remains

deep in my heart

is anyone better for it

am I?

She reminds me:

I will love you always.

My soul

no longer tired.

rests. 

John A. Bayerl, May 31, 2012

One of my many friends named Mary; the one who lives near Toronto, reminded me of the importance of writing something each day.  The way to write is to write.  

Tonight I was invited to a reception at the Cancer Support Community where Gwen and I attended support group meetings from when she was first diagnosed.  One of the people there is a social worker who conducted the survivor group that Gwen participated in; she did one of those things that are so important to those of us who never forget the love of our life but fear that others may-she reminded me that it was Gwen who always kept things moving, never giving in to despair, always hopeful, stubbornly making every moment of life count.  I too cherish those memories of Gwen as one who just kept going; she breathed life into every day, even on the day she took her last breath.  

Tonight I also met Dave and Mary who were in the lung cancer support group at UM Comprehensive Cancer Center.  There's always that twinge of resentment that they are still enjoying  time together on this earth.  Then I remember, as the poem says, Dear, that the gift of love we shared didn't die with you; it goes on forever.  You signed your letters that way: Yours, forever.