My friend Terry said something that comforts me. I always want to feel the pain, I want her presence in my life to never be gone. Makes sense to me. This isn't an easy thing, this getting over the loss of this person who, in some ways, was at the core of my being. People who knew us always comment on how we did everything together, and we did. It will never be easy to "get over" that.
I had a nice long workout at the gym this morning; that always does wonders as far as elevating my mood is concerned. This afternoon Story Time Players, good to be a little busy. I've been thinking lately about how some people choose to deal with their grief over the death of a loved one by becoming involved in a totally different lifestyle. I suppose that at some point that will be an option for me, but at this time it would seem like the easy way out and would dishonor the love of my life, Gwen. It is OK, I think, to be easy on one's self where the hard stuff is concerned. I recently attended a concert where one of the acts was named Po' Girls, two young women who did most of the singing and two guys who played backup music. One of their song has this line in it, When it's hard, better go easy. I get that. To honor Gwen and fully complete the process of grieving her death it will be necessary to encounter some hard things, like yesterday's overwhelming feelings of sadness and loneliness, and to face them in an easy way, resist the urge to force and hurry things. I think this poem is about that:
EASY ISN'T EASY