Today has been a bit of an exceptional day. My friend Ed called around noon and invited me to play a round of golf--which we did. When I returned from that son John came by and we had a nice visit plus he was able to fix a vexing problem with my computer. Today the weather has been great, and, since more rain is predicted tomorrow, I took advantage of a break in the clouds to mow the lawn. As usual, I find that to be not only good exercise, but also an opportunity to mediate as I walk behind the mower. Today being Friday always has that sad/happy tinge to it. Gwen died on a Friday, and as it gets toward evening memories of that come crowding in. Fridays way back when were also days of happy reunion when I would drive from Menominee to Gaastra to spend the weekend with my beautiful girlfriend. Today I felt her absence more keenly than usual.
When I had finished mowing the lawn is when the thing I have been hoping for happened. I put away the lawnmower, planted a flower in Gwen's Garden that my sister Terri had given me, filled the bird feeder and moved the hummingbird feeder to a what I thought might be a better location, and sat down to enjoy a cold drink and cool off in the evening breeze. When I finally got settled into the lawn chair I glanced at the hummingbird feeder, and there it was--a hummingbird. I knew it! I thought; Gwen is talking to me. I recalled how way back in January I had a dream that Gwen and I were watching a hummingbird at that same feeder, and I decided it was time to begin writing this blog. Gwen loved hummingbirds, and I had tried without success to lure them to our backyard, but that dream told me not to give up hope. I didn't, and today there it was, a hummingbird. It flew away, but soon there was another at the feeder, its mate no doubt. It has been a long, long time since I've felt the way those hummingbirds made me feel. I actually shouted out loud, YES!. Then I cried tears of pure joy. Whew! not much more I can say.
To cap it all off, I received an e-mail message from my friend in Canada who lost her spouse about the same time as Gwen died. I opened the attached video, fully expecting it to be a some sort of inspirational message, but, way better than that, it was a video of her sending me a comforting and encouraging message. An inspirational message indeed!
Thank you, Dear, for being with me so clearly today. Love does not die with death.
When I had finished mowing the lawn is when the thing I have been hoping for happened. I put away the lawnmower, planted a flower in Gwen's Garden that my sister Terri had given me, filled the bird feeder and moved the hummingbird feeder to a what I thought might be a better location, and sat down to enjoy a cold drink and cool off in the evening breeze. When I finally got settled into the lawn chair I glanced at the hummingbird feeder, and there it was--a hummingbird. I knew it! I thought; Gwen is talking to me. I recalled how way back in January I had a dream that Gwen and I were watching a hummingbird at that same feeder, and I decided it was time to begin writing this blog. Gwen loved hummingbirds, and I had tried without success to lure them to our backyard, but that dream told me not to give up hope. I didn't, and today there it was, a hummingbird. It flew away, but soon there was another at the feeder, its mate no doubt. It has been a long, long time since I've felt the way those hummingbirds made me feel. I actually shouted out loud, YES!. Then I cried tears of pure joy. Whew! not much more I can say.
To cap it all off, I received an e-mail message from my friend in Canada who lost her spouse about the same time as Gwen died. I opened the attached video, fully expecting it to be a some sort of inspirational message, but, way better than that, it was a video of her sending me a comforting and encouraging message. An inspirational message indeed!
Thank you, Dear, for being with me so clearly today. Love does not die with death.
