It's been a long day. I so enjoyed my visit out East, and was sad in a way to come back to the empty house. Yet, in a way it was comforting; Gwen is everywhere here. Tonight I've been feeling pretty bummed out; I've been fighting a cold, and I think that has a lot to do with it.
It makes me feel so sad when I think that just a year ago Gwen would have been sitting here with me, and there would have been no indication that in a few days she would die. Why does that still seem so unreal? There was also a moment while I was driving home today when it suddenly hit me that Gwen won't be there to help me when my time comes. At least, she won't be there physically. That isn't a scary thought so much as a sad one. It wasn't always easy caring for Gwen, but when it was time to settle down for the night she was there in the room with me, and I could kiss her good night. Tomorrow I will write about another magic moment we shared, and that will make me feel better, I am sure.
There are times, Dear, when I am keenly aware that my partner and pal isn't with me--could have used your navigating skills in the car today when I wandered off the freeway; you know me, my sense of direction stops after up and down. On Friday I drove through State College, and had a nice visit with Bob's parent, Tom and Ann. It's at times like that when I so miss your cheerful presence.
It makes me feel so sad when I think that just a year ago Gwen would have been sitting here with me, and there would have been no indication that in a few days she would die. Why does that still seem so unreal? There was also a moment while I was driving home today when it suddenly hit me that Gwen won't be there to help me when my time comes. At least, she won't be there physically. That isn't a scary thought so much as a sad one. It wasn't always easy caring for Gwen, but when it was time to settle down for the night she was there in the room with me, and I could kiss her good night. Tomorrow I will write about another magic moment we shared, and that will make me feel better, I am sure.
There are times, Dear, when I am keenly aware that my partner and pal isn't with me--could have used your navigating skills in the car today when I wandered off the freeway; you know me, my sense of direction stops after up and down. On Friday I drove through State College, and had a nice visit with Bob's parent, Tom and Ann. It's at times like that when I so miss your cheerful presence.
