THE COMFORT OF FAMILIARITY

Women’s Petite

Department at Sears

I knew I’d wind up here

kidded myself

about buying tee shirts.

I sit in the only chair

the one near the dressing room

wait for her come out

twirl, ask how it fits

and I say perfect

especially the way

it brings out the blue

in your eyes.

Friday night

we found an excuse

to go out

and I got to see her

model the dress again

this time

I’m in the dressing room

with her

this isn’t Sears

hang up the dress

let me see

those blue eyes.

Old habits die hard

I go to the hardware department

seeking the comfort of

familiarity

among the hammers and pliers—

no matter how hard I try

it’s just not the same

all I see are those blue eyes.

John A. Bayerl, February 6, 2012

It's been like that all weekend; a soft and gentle sense of missing Gwen's presence in my life.  The weather continues to be exceptionally sunny, warm (at least for February in Michigan), so I'm able to get out and do things, go for walks, first thing you know I'll take my bike down from the ceiling in the garage.

Yesterday and today I spent time at the mall.  Lots of good end of winter sales, so yesterday I bought things. I used to wonder why Gwen would do this, buy things, bring them home, then bring them back to the store.  Today, that's exactly what I did; brought back all the things I bought yesterday.  

While I was a the Sears Store this morning I found myself wandering through the petite women's department where Gwen loved to walk around, look at things, sometimes try them on, ask my opinion.  It is such a a gift to be able to find the love Gwen and I shared deep in my heart by merely wandering through a department store and feeling the sad longings that acccompany sweet memories.  

It always comes back, Dear, to those special, secret things we shared.  Not only does love come as a gift, it also comes with gifts that may be opened way off in the future--I opened one of those gifts today.