Yesterday I attended a luncheon at The Cancer Support Community of Southeast Michigan. Gwen and I attended support group meetings there throughout her illness. Several of our friends were there. I ran into a couple of friend of whom Gwen was quite fond, and they hadn't heard that she had died. Those are always tough, moving moments. I was filled with emotion at seeing Gwen's name in gold on a leaf on their tree of life. Bonnie commented that Gwen was so well known and loved, as shown by the outpouring of contributions in her name.
This morning I spent a pleasant hour observing a student teacher from NMU teaching a gym class of fifth graders in Dexter. He's really good, and it was fun to watch. Then, home, and get ready for the my work out; in honor of Valentine's Day I wore my bright red, fleece Land's End sweatshirt, being careful not wear my grey sweat pants. Those two colors, scarlet and grey, just don't look well together, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them. The sweatshirt warmed me on the outside. After the gym, off to the grocery store to get a few things. While there, I bought a little bouquet or red and white flowers. They look nice on the mantel, adds a little festive touch.
OK, I admit it, I'm trying to "be positive", but, Valentine's Day sucks. There's no other way to put it. Still, I know that Gwen want m to keep on trying to be as happy as I can be, maybe even get a box of chocolate-covered cherries.
I know this too; the best cure, no, not cure, response to grief is love. I had a nice dinner with John and Amy and Brooke last night, that was filled with love. Tonight I have a spirituality support group meeting from 6:00 to 7:30. Lots of love there. I've heard from many old friends and former students today, especially heart warming was an e-mail message from a high-school friend of Gwen's who just checked in to see how I am doing. I see Gwen's hand in all of this. I also found a valentine Gwen sent me way back when. There is something so comforting still about seeing her words. She wrote, "It's a good thing you can't see yourself reflected in the mirror of my heart. You would be conceited."
Quite fitting, I think, for Valentine's day, although I wrote it in November, is a tiny little poem I wrote for Gwen back in 1962. She said she loved it.
A MUSHY LITTLE POEM
each time I hear you say
I think about you night and day
and whisper I love you.
In a letter to Gwen,
November 20, 1962
As true today as it was then. Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart.
1 comment:
Your comments about scarlet and grey made me smile. Vern was from Ohio and a huge Buckeye fan. Our son was born in Michigan and is a UofM fan - even has a block M tattooed on his calf. I have a dual UofM/OSU flag I put up on that special Saturday in November to remain neutral.
I dreaded today, but it wasn't as bad as expected. Wish I had thought of buying myself chocolate-covered cherries. I had forgotten that Vern used to do that for me.
Thanks for the memories, John.
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