Often, I awake with a song going through my mind. This morning it was Today by the New Christy Minstrels. "Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine I'l taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine. . ." I looked at one of the many pictures of Gwen in my room, and felt that same longing and loving tug that I so often feel. I wondered why the song had such a strong hold on me until I did some research on it. The song was released in 1964 and rose right to the top of the charts. Gwen and I were in the first year of our marriage then--mystery solved.
This morning I had breakfast with an old friend whose wife died of cancer a few months before Gwen. He and I relate well to each other, and it is heartening to talk with him and discover that he experiences many of the same things that I do. One of the things we talked about was the war that goes on inside us as we work through our grief and at the same time try to be grateful and appreciative of the many years we were able to share love with our spouse. This was again evident Saturday night and yesterday when Brooke filled our house and my heart with joy. She so enjoyed "playing" with grandma, and I try hard to fill that void, knowing of course that it's an impossible task--only grandma could love Brooke the way grandma did.
Brooke and I attended choir practice and Mass yesterday morning. For more than two hours she patiently sat with me, first through choir practice, and then for Mass. At one point she even whispered to me that I have a pretty voice. We then went straight to the movie theater where we saw "A Dolphin Tale." We sat in the same seats where Gwen and I used to sit; having that sweet eight-year old girl with me made it so much easier. Then we went home and made soup; I chopped vegetables and Brooke stirred. After John came to get her and they left for home the house didn't feel quite as empty as it sometimes does.
I have been worried about my oldest sister Cookie after hearing that she had fallen and fractured some bones in her body. She called me later today, and I was relieved that the injuries aren't nearly as bad as was originally thought. Another bit of good news was when someone from WUOM called and apologized that the day sponsorship on Saturday, in loving memory of the day 50 years ago when Gwen and I first met, had not gone exactly as planned, and he offered me another day. It will be November 12.
You were there with Brooke and me, Dear. I'll never be the grandparent that you were; it was your passion. But, it is good to have you as a role model.
This morning I had breakfast with an old friend whose wife died of cancer a few months before Gwen. He and I relate well to each other, and it is heartening to talk with him and discover that he experiences many of the same things that I do. One of the things we talked about was the war that goes on inside us as we work through our grief and at the same time try to be grateful and appreciative of the many years we were able to share love with our spouse. This was again evident Saturday night and yesterday when Brooke filled our house and my heart with joy. She so enjoyed "playing" with grandma, and I try hard to fill that void, knowing of course that it's an impossible task--only grandma could love Brooke the way grandma did.
Brooke and I attended choir practice and Mass yesterday morning. For more than two hours she patiently sat with me, first through choir practice, and then for Mass. At one point she even whispered to me that I have a pretty voice. We then went straight to the movie theater where we saw "A Dolphin Tale." We sat in the same seats where Gwen and I used to sit; having that sweet eight-year old girl with me made it so much easier. Then we went home and made soup; I chopped vegetables and Brooke stirred. After John came to get her and they left for home the house didn't feel quite as empty as it sometimes does.
I have been worried about my oldest sister Cookie after hearing that she had fallen and fractured some bones in her body. She called me later today, and I was relieved that the injuries aren't nearly as bad as was originally thought. Another bit of good news was when someone from WUOM called and apologized that the day sponsorship on Saturday, in loving memory of the day 50 years ago when Gwen and I first met, had not gone exactly as planned, and he offered me another day. It will be November 12.
You were there with Brooke and me, Dear. I'll never be the grandparent that you were; it was your passion. But, it is good to have you as a role model.
1 comment:
Our life has so been influenced by their presence, how can we say we live without. Great post John.
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