. . . .the assurance of things hoped for. . .

At the place where I have my golf lessons there is a big putting green.  Obviously people smoke while they practice putting, and next to the green there's a sign that reads: PUT YOUR BUTTS IN THE RECEPTICAL.  The double meaning of the word BUTTS aside; for a year now the misspelling of the word RECEPTACLE bothered me every time I walked by the sign.  Today, when my lesson was completed, I pulled the sign out of the ground, marched into the Miles of Golf Store, and told the guy behind the counter that they should change the spelling on the sign.  He happened to be one of the owners; he thanked me, and assured me that the sign would be corrected.  As I was driving home I reflected upon how easy it had been to take a proactive action to eliminate something in my life that annoyed me.  Then, I thought, "were it that easy to fix the sign in my heart that reads: Gwen is gone, forever."

It's that word forever.  Gwen and I used it a lot.  As recently as two years ago Gwen signed a birthday card that way: You are the love of my life, and I'll love you forever.  Since that time, since Gwen died, the word forever has taken on a whole new meaning.  Now I understand that forever is not a measurement of time, it is beyond time.  I am reminded again of the words spoken by Fr. Dan at Gwen's funeral: "Fall in love. Stay in love.  It will decide everything."  As do all people who open their hearts to love, Gwen and and I fell in love, stayed in love, and, as a consequence of that we now continue nurturing that precious, miraculous love that was ours alone.  As I write these words I am aware that there are those who might think they are idealistic, naive, sentimental hogwash.  I agree, that is a decision that could be taken. Confronting the forever nature of death, at least for me, does not allow me to come to that conclusion.

What you and I share, Dear, is the faith that St. Paul talked about when he said:  "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  Now, I see in a glass darkly. Then, I shall see face-to-face."