NARCISSUS BULB

NARCISSUS BULB

The narcissus bulb

I planted a year ago

now sleeps

in cold, dark earth.

Beneath the ice and snow

it waits patiently

wanting only

to preen for me.

Its delicate petals

will open

and I will enjoy

its sweet musky smell

feel its taste on my lips

become one with its beauty

in the spring

when all is transformed--

hope fulfilled.

John A. Bayerl, December 21, 2011

 It seems somehow fitting to write about  springtime today; the longest night and shortest day of the year.  Tomorrow, we begin our march toward longer, warmer days.  Of course, there will be some ice and snow and wind and cold nights before we reach the longest day and shortest night in June.  Tonight I take comfort in she sheer predictability of changes in season.  

Yesterday I felt pretty happy all day because my children had arrived and they all did their parts to keep dad in a cheerful mood.  Today, although Mike Deann have left for a couple of days or so, it's been so enjoyable having Bob, Jeanne, Nick and Izzy filling the house with happy sounds. Jeanne, bless her heart, cleaned the refrigerator today.  I told her that hadn't been done since last year when a woman I hired to sit with  Gwen did it.  Those who know Jeanne will know that I now have the cleanest, most organized refrigerator in Ann Arbor.  She does everything well.

Also today I attended a wake for a woman who, at age 53, lost her seven-year battle with breast cancer.  Her mother and sister attended a caregiver group with me for three years; they were also former neighbors.  As I knelt before the casket with a beautiful young woman's body in it I was taken back to when I knelt and prayed for Gwen.  Surprisingly, it felt good to  reminisce about what seems like such a long time ago.  I also have this memory of Gwen kneeling and praying the rosary in front of her mother's casket.  As I knelt beside her I was so proud of her courage in doing what she felt was her responsibility and privilege, as the oldest daughter.

This morning I arose early and went to the gym, Dear.  While there I had recollections of being there with you, and I could see you walking on the treadmill, talking with me all the while. This overwhelming desire to have you there with me overtook me.  All I could do was  whisper your name and talk to you as I pedaled the elliptical.