This will be another two-part posting. I had an easy trip over to Bozeman, and am now relaxing in a nice motel room. In an hour or so I am going to meet my nephew, who lives near here, and his friend for dinner. I'll add more to this when I return.
It is still so hard being her without my Gwen to worry about bedbugs, what kinds of unseemly acts may have been performed on the bed comforter, and how the heck does the TV remote work anyway? That's the easy, fun part; everything I do seems to remind me of something she and I did, and I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I have to face the fact that we'll never do anything together again on this earth. Today on several occasions I drove past pastures where horses were grazing. She loved seeing horses out in the wild like that.
Today I once again felt Gwen's presence when I came to the conclusion that it's time for me to make some lists. Gwen loved lists; they added purpose to her day, and made me a better husband. The list I thought about today has to do with what I will do from here on--I'll write them all down later tonight, and add to it, revise it, etc. Gwen is part of it, making me a better man; we talked about this, and she wants me to go on with my life. I don't write anything while driving, but I did write this at the top of the list when I stopped at a rest area: Trust the process, and let life unfold the way it is supposed to.
In addition to making progress on my goal of figuring out who I am without Gwen by my side, I remembered to enjoy the ride today--stopped frequently at rest areas and scenic turnouts. I took some pictures that I'll download later and include with the blog.
Time to go.
OK, I'm back. What a wonderful time I had with Andrew and his friend Zana. They had just come back from a hike in the mountains. We had a great meal, and they taught me a lot about the Zen of rock climbing. They are both the kind of people that Gwen loved. I'm so glad we were able to get together. The picture is of Andrew and me. The mural on the wall behind us was painted by Zana.
I get these moments Dear, when I am so sad that you aren't here enjoying things with me. This song by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Boccellia captures that mood perfectly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbN0g8-zbdY
It is still so hard being her without my Gwen to worry about bedbugs, what kinds of unseemly acts may have been performed on the bed comforter, and how the heck does the TV remote work anyway? That's the easy, fun part; everything I do seems to remind me of something she and I did, and I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I have to face the fact that we'll never do anything together again on this earth. Today on several occasions I drove past pastures where horses were grazing. She loved seeing horses out in the wild like that.
Today I once again felt Gwen's presence when I came to the conclusion that it's time for me to make some lists. Gwen loved lists; they added purpose to her day, and made me a better husband. The list I thought about today has to do with what I will do from here on--I'll write them all down later tonight, and add to it, revise it, etc. Gwen is part of it, making me a better man; we talked about this, and she wants me to go on with my life. I don't write anything while driving, but I did write this at the top of the list when I stopped at a rest area: Trust the process, and let life unfold the way it is supposed to.
In addition to making progress on my goal of figuring out who I am without Gwen by my side, I remembered to enjoy the ride today--stopped frequently at rest areas and scenic turnouts. I took some pictures that I'll download later and include with the blog.
Time to go.
I get these moments Dear, when I am so sad that you aren't here enjoying things with me. This song by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Boccellia captures that mood perfectly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbN0g8-zbdY
No comments:
Post a Comment