SIMPLE PLEASURES

Since Gwen died I have spent an awful lot of time reminiscing about our wonderful and beautiful first years together--from the time I first met her in Marquette to our  exciting moves around the country--from the U. P. to Ann Arbor, to Wisconsin, to Oregon, back to Michigan, Flint this time; back to Ann Arbor--all of this within the first five years of our marriage.  Oh, and Gwen worked for a year at the Veteran's Hospital in Ann Arbor and also bore three children.  An awful lot of great memories to cherish.

Every now and then I catch myself wondering whether I might be stuck back there and refusing to face the truthful reality that it is now the year 2011 and I am faced with the task of creating  what I now call "Life A. G."; Life After Gwen.  But, no, I'm not stuck there.  I also reminisce about the past five years; difficult as they may have been in  many respects.  We  were able to spend that time taking exciting trips around the country--to our Ed and Rosa's condo in Florida, a bus tour to Washington, D. C. with Ted and Jackie, a stay in Arizona with Mary and Milt, trips to visit Anne in Dallas, Jeanne and Bob and the kids in Colorado, Mike and Deann in Pennsylvania; a visit to St. Joseph Island in Canada, spending time with Ted in Rock and Patti in Gaastra; to say nothing of many parties and celebrations with John and Amy and Brooke, and I'm sure there are other things I've forgotten.  And then, there were the trips only she and I knew about. . .    Yes, I enjoy thinking about our passionate youth, but I enjoyed every bit as much recalling a different kind of passion for living even during the time when Gwen fought her brave battle against cancer.  Even today, just walking up the steps from the garage to the kitchen door brings back warm memories of how resolutely Gwen  fought to take those steps on her own right up to the end.

There were "big" things we did together, but, maybe more difficult to let go of, are the many day-to-day pleasures we enjoyed.  This is a special poem that I wrote on that topic:

SIMPLE PLEASURES

It’s the simple pleasures

that are missed the most;

like reading aloud in bed at night.

We might begin with a little book of meditations,

she would read one side of the page, I the other.

Then we’d talk a little.

After that we became friends

with a young woman from Sweden;

the one who smoked too much,

drank too much coffee,

hacked computers,

had a dragon tattooed on her back.

We got to know three books worth of her

I wanted there to be a fourth

hoped it might last forever.

I rub her back and read,

her eyes close—

Is it time to quit?

Read a little more she says.

The chapter ends,

pull the blanket up to her chin

tuck her in tight,

kiss her on the cheek,

smell her fresh cleanness,

tell her I love her,

I love you more, good night,

she whispers.

Simple pleasures adorned

our last adventure together,

we hoped it might last forever.

John A. Bayerl, July 4, 2011

Big adventures or small pleasures, we enjoyed them all, Dear.  I miss that.