Lover's Key, Florida

Lover's Key, Florida
I WILL FIND OTHER SEAS.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

LET IT SHINE IN THE WORLD

I finally figured out how to access my blog.  I hope no one asks me what I did, because, in my inimitable fashion, I just fooled around until it worked.  Maybe I should write it down in case it happens again; what I did was to Google my URL and voila!  Small victories.  I just read what I have  written and it occurred to me that if I had seen "Google my URL" ten years ago I would not have had the slightest idea what it meant.  Come to think of it, I'm not that sure now either.

In keeping with my new mantra: "If you aren't busy living, you're busy dying." yesterday was a busy one.  An hour at the gym, nine holes of golf, a totally great singing lesson, and a few more holes of golf.  Today it's raining.  Take it easy.  I did do some work on my class this summer; thanks to my friend, Tom, who sent me a ton of material, and son, John, the power-point whiz, it's starting to fall into place.  In the PPT John has a beautiful  picture of Marquette taken from a beach on Lake Superior.  It makes me happy/sad; I can see Gwen enjoying being at the beach, she loved Lake Superior, while our dog Max relentlessly stalks seagulls and sticks floating in the water.  I had the same kind of feeling on the golf course yesterday; it seemed so unfair that Gwen wasn't there enjoying a beautiful summer evening with me.  That's what it's like to miss someone who was such a constant source of love in your life.   I've learned that Gwen's death has had a way of sharpening my priorities; I came to the realization that there are few things in this world that really matter much beyond the three F's--faith, family and friends.  Most of the rest of it is, as the song says, blowing in the wind.  So, I'll feel sorry for myself and cry if I want to.

My friend, Frank, called this morning to tell me that his wife, Caroline, died yesterday morning.  We talked for at least an hour.  Like Gwen, she fought lung cancer for a much longer time than had been predicted.  Also, she was a non-smoker.  We first met them at a support group meeting at St. Joseph Mercy Cancer Center back in 2006.  Her funeral Mass is Saturday morning.  Many of our friends will be there,  while it will be great to see them all again, it promises to be another tearful event. . .  good for the soul kind of tears.

It's mid afternoon and a storm has arrived; it's gotten terribly dark, there's lightning and thunder, the wind is driving big raindrops against the antique school bell on the post outside my window.  With all the destruction down south this week, it's hard not to think about what sort of surprises Mother Nature might have in store for us.

This is a poem for you, Dear, it puts things in perspective for me:

LET IT SHINE IN THE WORLD

Now I walk through life
as best I can without her
in a reality tinged with sadness.

Yet, she is with me,
hovering in the background,
always in the corner of my eye;
gently prodding, encouraging me onward.

Let our love live,
she tells me, find ways
to let it shine in the world.

John A. Bayerl, May 21, 2011

Even, maybe especially, on a stormy day; love shines in the world.



1 comment:

Am I Truly A Widow? said...

Nice to see you back! On my blog they were doing something and two posts disappeared! LOL. And ya, If you wanna Cry, then do it! That is your right. Okay, back to that icky thing called work.